Friday, June 11, 2010

Summer Rain

What an absolutely beautiful day! It was sunny and hot, then a refreshing summer rain fell. The landowners had mowed the lawn earlier too, so that coupled with the rain made for a really fresh-smelling rainfall.

There is not a lot going on in fluffy mummy land today, but I am soaking in every minute of it anyway. :)  It is a good feeling to realize that no matter what life brings, we can be happy! I was reminded today of the year I spent depressed and on medication, and how this far out I am still becoming a little more myself every day. I cannot help but feel thankful and joyful; our Lord has been so good to me!

When I got married, like many young people, I had an exact idea of what it was going to be. Then life did the usual and began to kick us from every side. First finding out about our 'mild' infertility, then going through miscarriages, then the years of having a sick and broken baby. Just when things began to look up I had to be honest with myself and everyone and realized I was and had been very, very depressed. 

Fast forward two and a half years from that diagnosis, and I am much happier, but still find myself feeling sad when life hands us lemons and happy when we make lemonade! It took eight years, but I am just now truly accepting that this is what life does: it rolls along up and down - sometimes gently like the green hills of Ohio, sometimes much more sharply like the peaks and valleys of the Grand Canyon or a steep mountain range. It is up to us to climb out of the valleys, rest on the plateaus and keep growing as we go. 

No longer a child or naive youth, I am a woman. I have seen that life swerves and dips, rises and falls, and I accept that with grace, peace and the ever-welcome contentment that God offers when we trust in Him. I do not have to fall apart when the valleys dip. I can shed a tear or two if I need, but then with God's strength I can mount (as He says) on Eagle's wings and soar back up. 

I cannot vouch for tomorrow, but on this beautiful day of refreshing and renewing summer rain, I am better than okay; I accept my life as it is, and I am very happy!

Thursday, June 10, 2010


In other news, summer is bearing fruit and our tomatoes are coming on!  I noticed earlier in the week that we had yellow flowers showing up each day, and wondered when they would wilt into the stems of young tomatoes. (As seen to the right)

It turns out that today was that day! Perhaps overnight is a more accurate time description, because yesterday there was no tomato and this afternoon POOF, there was!
This is the close up photo my husband took, and the tomato in it looks much closer than it actually is, but it is actually a baby... about the size of your thumb, I'd say. (I have big thumbs, so it's hard to tell for other folks!) It really is a beautiful little thing, and I am hoping against hope that the blight which hit the tomatoes last year will bug off and leave them alone this year. After all, last year I had regular, unstellar tomatoes (also grape tomatoes, which came on wonderfully) but this year we have hillbilly tomatoes!

Otherwise known as 'beefsteak' tomatoes, these are the big, juicy jobs that fill up your hand and which a single slice, cut thick enough, is perfect for a tomato sandwich! I have two more 'billies' (seedling hillbilly tomato plants) growing in a pot right from the seed, but the one that is already fruiting is a hybrid. I shudder at that word; I'd much rather have a tomato that is as God intended it to be instead of a hybrid, but that is what the store had already started so we took it.

This particular hybrid beefsteak was bred to be smooth and round not as oddly shaped and lumpy... why in Heaven they want perfectly smooth tomatoes, I'll never know... to me it loses some of the home-grown feel. That said, I'll still take a hybrid grown on my own deck under my tender care and God's sunshine and rain over the tomatoes I buy at the store the rest of the year! Amen! lol

She's ba-ack! Well... sort of!

So, I am finally taking the time to blog again! I'd promise it will be long or short, but the truth is I don't know. I don't even know it if will be pertinent! Ha!

Anyway... where have I been? The quick answer is that I was wrapping up Kindergarten, making sure my paperwork was complete and ready to store (have to keep these things when you are home schooling in case the state wants them later), trying to clean up and pack up some of the apartment... which made it look more and more MESSY, and also have been very sore and very tired. The last part of that makes me complain more, which in spite of being guilty of it, I can't stand to do or hear! lol Gooo figure!

A good example is the happenings of today. I found out my daughter has to have a tooth pulled and even though Chris gets paid in several days, I got frustrated about not being able to take care of her RIGHT THIS MINUTE, and after something like ten calls to different places trying to work something out I did let the selfishness get the best of me and cried for a minute.

Now that the tears are gone, I'm able to step back and see that once again, I need to practice NOT fixing my own problems and DO hand them over to God. I am reminded that this is good timing. Yes, there is no money today or tomorrow or the next day for that matter, but God's timing is still good because I have been looking forward to this week for over a month because it held a full amount of grocery money! This could have happened on a week when we did not have it, so that is a huge blessing.

I have to be careful in saying that, too. I am absolutely not complaining about money. Part of being an adult, a parent, or even alive is that things come up. We have to be ready to do what we can when we can. This, then, instead of being the big stressful trial it came wrapped up as, is actually a valuable exercise in trust and in faith.

I am not worthy of God's mercy, but I pray that He helps me to be ever learning, ever receptive, and ever willing to suffer (I use the term mildly as applies to this instance) whatever it takes for my faith in Him to grow and thus, my relationship.