Thursday, June 10, 2010

She's ba-ack! Well... sort of!

So, I am finally taking the time to blog again! I'd promise it will be long or short, but the truth is I don't know. I don't even know it if will be pertinent! Ha!

Anyway... where have I been? The quick answer is that I was wrapping up Kindergarten, making sure my paperwork was complete and ready to store (have to keep these things when you are home schooling in case the state wants them later), trying to clean up and pack up some of the apartment... which made it look more and more MESSY, and also have been very sore and very tired. The last part of that makes me complain more, which in spite of being guilty of it, I can't stand to do or hear! lol Gooo figure!

A good example is the happenings of today. I found out my daughter has to have a tooth pulled and even though Chris gets paid in several days, I got frustrated about not being able to take care of her RIGHT THIS MINUTE, and after something like ten calls to different places trying to work something out I did let the selfishness get the best of me and cried for a minute.

Now that the tears are gone, I'm able to step back and see that once again, I need to practice NOT fixing my own problems and DO hand them over to God. I am reminded that this is good timing. Yes, there is no money today or tomorrow or the next day for that matter, but God's timing is still good because I have been looking forward to this week for over a month because it held a full amount of grocery money! This could have happened on a week when we did not have it, so that is a huge blessing.

I have to be careful in saying that, too. I am absolutely not complaining about money. Part of being an adult, a parent, or even alive is that things come up. We have to be ready to do what we can when we can. This, then, instead of being the big stressful trial it came wrapped up as, is actually a valuable exercise in trust and in faith.

I am not worthy of God's mercy, but I pray that He helps me to be ever learning, ever receptive, and ever willing to suffer (I use the term mildly as applies to this instance) whatever it takes for my faith in Him to grow and thus, my relationship.

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